Gravity Denial

For some reason all the schoolyard bullies pick on evolutionary biologists. I think it’s time we cast the same scrutiny on all scientific theories. Let’s start with one of the most dubious “scientific facts”, gravity.  For some reason, experimental physicists refuse to engage me in intellectual discourse over whether (a) Newtonian gravity causes apples to fall or (b) angels did it. We should really teach the controversy on gravity. You guys should check out my new book: “Newton’s Doubt.” Did you know that the existence of gravity is actually hotly contested amongst physicists. Issac Newton himself doubted that gravity actually existed. Recent space expeditions have proved that apples fall downward far more slowly on the moon!! The theory of gravity states that objects should accelerate at 9.816m/s per second, yet objects barely accelerate at all on the moon. In fact, even more recent space based experiments have proved that apples don’t accelerate downwards at all in empty space! Explain that Newton! Furthermore, when on a sloped ramp, objects accelerate downwards only at the sin of the angle of the ramp times 9.816 m/s per second. But gravity says things must accelerate at exactly 9.816 m/s per second. Furthermore, an apple dropped from an airplane accelerates at 9.816 m/s per second only for a limited period of time. The acceleration slows and eventually the apple reaches terminal velocity at which point there is no acceleration at all!!!!!! Explain that Newton. Also this guy Einstein said Newton is stupid and gravity is bullshit, and Newton fondled children.

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